1. To create mental space.
2. Facebook happens for me during the few moments of my day that I have some quiet space. It's not what I want to fill that space up with.
3. I think if I had to seriously weigh it out, facebook creates more negative things in me than positive. Here are some examples:
--A comparison and judgement focus (monitoring how many likes and comments I get, noticing all the other moms and the beautiful crafts they are making that I am not and feeling bad about it, reacting to people posting about weight loss or food choices in reference to how it makes me feel about myself, etc.) I mean let's face it. For the most part we put our best foot forward on facebook. And when you see 300 people's "bests" twice a day every day, you start to feel overwhelmed. Like you aren't enough. Or the opposite, thriving on the "likes" everyone gives you. Maybe even feeling "better than." I believe social media has taken the tendency of human nature to compare and evaluate ourselves against one another to a toxic nature. (Of course I am sure some people are above this, but I also believe that it effects us--and maybe especially moms?--more than we may like to admit). I don't want to set myself up to be exposed to such a wide range of perfection to compare myself to. It just isn't reality.
--Emotional responsiveness to issues I am passionate about. It is impossible to get on facebook and not see a post about politics, parenting, or nutrition to name a few volatile topics. I never chose to engage in responding to these posts, but I do get my feathers all ruffled about a lot of them. This is wasted emotional energy. If I had never read the posts, I never would have spent the emotional and mental energy to argue with them in my head or feel irritated by them.
4. I believe facebook is often more polarizing than connective. When we post strong opinions what is our aim? If it is to change the opinion of someone who believes differently, that never happens. What does happen is that we get 51 likes from people who already thought and felt exactly the same as us. What does happen is the person who sits next to you in church on Sunday (or goes to your kid's school, or is your neighbor, or high school friend) but feels differently than you is now suddenly monitoring what they talk about around you to ensure they stay on a "safe" topic. In my opinion this simply is not worth the nice pat on the back of affirmation that comes from the 51 "likes."
5. The way Christian's talk about politics (refer to #4).
6. My "all or nothing" type personality doesn't reign facebook in well. If I was the type of person who would only check it once a week to look at just the friends I am really close to and see their pics, etc. I might keep it. But I check it twice a day and EVERY TIME I feel like I have to scroll alllll the way through the status feeds until I start recognizing them so I know I am "caught up." So it becomes a time waster.
7. Last, and this not something I have totally thought through, but I have some privacy concerns for my kids. I am not sure how they will feel in 10 years about how their lives were broadcast. Since I can't predict that or ask them how they will feel about it in the future when they are old enough to have a strong opinion, I've decided against it for now. **this is not in any way a judgment about this. I know we post pics and comments of our kids because they are amazing and loved. And if I blog about mine, it is essentially the same thing, so clearly I haven't thought it through, but I do think it is worth thinking about.**
I will miss things about facebook for sure. I think it is a great tool, can raise social awareness, and of course I love seeing pics of my friends and family. Maybe I will start posting pictures on my blog more and keeping it updated, I really don't know how it will all shake out. Overall I am hoping to gain some time, some peace of mind, and reduce expectations for myself so I can just live in the present with my kids. Anyone want to join me? :-)
4 comments:
I will probably be joining you. I have been contemplating leaving facebook the last few weeks. Many of my reasons being very similar to yours. I especially like #6. I don't want to miss out on anything. But I get upset with myself for spending more time than I want to on facebook. I also find myself at times living for the likes; trying to come up with something clever that will gain attention. Thank you for your blog post, it's exactly what I am needing to push me towards making that step to do something that I really want with my time and leave behind facebook (and maybe some other things) that I allow to take time that I don't want to give.
-E. McSween
Well said, Rachel. You are certainly following scripture's commmand to "not be conformed to this world." I commend you for your courage.
I enjoyed your blog post! I totally understand, but have never really considered leaving myself. Ha, with being a "single mom," sometimes facebook is the only adult "conversation," time I get in a day. That sounds silly that I would consider Facebook status updates and comments as conversations, ha, but really, it has been a positive thing for me. Also, being such a introvert, it is nice for me to have a way to contact and keep up with people that I need to or otherwise wouldn't. I really hope you blog more now that you don't have Facebook! It would be fun to keep up with your sweet family. Hope you are doing well!
So excited to have found your blog! I really do hope you keep blogging because Facebook is one of those only threads of connection I had to you all the way across the world, though I really appreciate your reasons for having left. (Selfishly I just miss you.) I can't say how much your comments on my blog have blessed me. Looking forward to the day we can talk over a cup of chai! Love you and yours.
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