Should I Start Blogging Again?

Well, I used to have this blog, for like a second, and then it just faded into the very distant background of my life. One thing I know about myself: I am *not* going to be one of those perfect mom bloggers who post beautiful pictures of their children with their milestones, updates, b-day party and holiday posts, etc. etc. (enter my fantabulous sister here, she *is* one of those moms :-)). As much as I would love to give that well-documented childhood to my children, I long ago surrendered that it is just not me. I suppose a few months before graduation I will salvage their histories by slapping together some sort of memory book for them to take wherever they go (just because I got one and it is indeed one of my most treasured possessions. Like, if there was a fire in your house what three things would you take kind of treasured.)

But, back to the point. I am trying something new in 2012. I am almost hesitant to say what it is because it is actually so huge for me that I am afraid if I say it out loud I will jinx it. Or be so embarrassed when I fail. I am only two days in, so in no way have I formed a habit. OK, big deep breath, eeeeeek . . . waking up before my kids. That is my whole entire New Year's Resolution (yes it deserves caps). I know it is totally cliche and normal-ish to have a waking up earlier resolution---but this is a soul stirring commitment for me that has come out of a lot of pondering and pushing in my spirit. The impetus for wanting to do this is so that I can see my husband's face before he goes to work. A cup of tea, a shared reading, a kiss good-bye. Simple connect with the person I have been given to cherish above all other relationships. He is my greatest gift, I ought to act like it. The by-product of following through with this concept of greeting my husband in the morning before he leaves is that I have a lot to gain in other areas. Quiet, still time for my soul before the kids get up (priceless!!!) Our family getting on a sleep rhythm that is more similar (this is something I am really hoping will be a byproduct. My kids came biologically wired the way I am, night owls and late sleepers. I am hoping that by modeling earlier to bed earlier to rise behavior they will accomplish the same through osmosis. We'll see how that goes). Space to work on our adoption paperwork and personal journaling time (enter blog here). Watching the world go from black to gray to light---time just watch and listen to the earth breathing around me. A jump start on my daily to do lists. Being alert and not bleary eyed when my kids are ready for their morning snuggles. So, you see, just this one resolution is enough. If I can really make it a habit, I think it is going to transform me and my family on many different levels over time. I am super pumped. And super terrified. I don't know why it is so hard for me to imagine giving up sleep, early morning sleep that is (I give up night time sleep to my owlish behaviors, nursing babes, rubbing out leg cramps, etc. all the time without a thought) . . . so while terrified I also feel committed and hopeful.

I am thinking that this may create space for my blog to make an entrance back in my life. We'll see. For me, I think it will be more of a space to share some of my musings and reflections. Of course my kids will make their way into here, because that is what our children do. They seep into every pore of our being becoming a central part of who we are and so we end up talking about them in virtually every conversation (very annoying for non parents I know) . . . so I am sure that will happen here to. And I am not feeling any drive to make a commitment about blogging, just reopening it up as a possibility and we will see what happens. So, here it is to 2012, the year of revolutionizing my mornings :-).