Lead Now--take two

So I wrote this post about two weeks ago, unfortunately in a word document which I CANNOT figure out how to paste into my blog. So I am finally getting up the energy to retype it. I warn you, this is a long post that is my reflections on a conference I attended, so please know in advance what you are getting into . . . . no fun pictures, just lots of rachel ramblings about my inner thoughts . . . .

The original title was:

"Swirly Head"

(My brother, James, said this was not a good idea for a title, but I'll go ahead and leave it in :-))

I had the wonderful opportunity to attend the LEAD NOW conference. This is a conference geared toward inspiring leaders who are committed to reaching the next generation of Christians--I am so blessed to be a part of a church that sponsored such an event. We got to hear from Erwin McManus, Francis Chan, Donadl Miller, Margaret Feinber, Matt Chandler, and others. Any of you who have heard any of those people speak will know we got fed a tremendous spiritual meal that was inspirational, challenging, and entertaining all at once.

Anyway, I was moved by several things throughout the day and ended up with what I termed "swirly head." That is, I had so many thoughts swirling around up there I had a hard time grasping onto any one of them. This generally leaves me feeling overwhelmed and likely to cry at the drop of a hat. Anyone been there? When you know God has spoken to your heart and you just don't know quite what it is going to mean or how it is all going to come together, but it leaves your mind whirling and your emotions heightened and fragile. So I wanted to blog some of the "nuggets" I am taking away from the conference. These are things that resonated deeply with me and hopefully will become integrated into how I walk with Christ.

From Francis Chan:

"Courage comes from intimacy with God." 

I loved this thought. About a month ago I was at a ladies retreat and the speaker said that when we are making a decision we should ask ourselves, "what would I do if I was not afraid?" So, that thought has been one I've been meditating on . . . .add to that Chan's component, that courage comes from intimacy with God, and the whole concept becomes so much more powerful. I can act without fear BECAUSE I know WHOSE I am. I know I have God's approval so I need not fear the disapproval from others. I know I have God's love, so I need not fear being unlovable. If I can see Christ ever before me, I do not fear others reactions, opinions, or words but act out of COURAGE that comes from a relationship in God. Loved that!

From Erwin McManus:

"If my greatest dream became my life, would it make the world a better place?"

McManus challenged us to consider what our dreams are. What do you hearts yearn for? Is it something that would bring good into the world? If so, take the risk to start achieving it no matter how big the dream. McManus is a HUGE inspiration to follow the yearnings in our hearts as "God ordained" and fulfill the greatest good we can do. We should live every day to unleash the dream burning inside of us. He reminded us not to "live lives of obligation, but to live lives of passion."

From Margaret Feinberg:

The statement that Margaret made that resonated SO DEEPLY with me was "Is this all there is?"

She described how she has a great husband, home ministry, etc. and yet STILL she has this restlessness in her soul . . . . . in the quiet of the night she lies in bed and thinks "is this all there is?" She took that discontentment to God and wrestled with him about it. In looking through her prayer journal she discovered she had been praying for a spiritual hunger. She now identifies that yearning inside of her for "more" as an answer to that prayer. God continually calls her to a deeper relationshp with him and a more wide reaching service to him.

I don't think I can quite express what this meant to me. All you MK's who read my blog will get this on some level I"m sure (especially if you, like me, are living a comfortable Western life right now). See for me, I grew up around poverty, AIDS, malaria, and all sorts of other tangible, visible human suffering. This was laid across the backdrop of beautiful Kenyan landscapes, vibrant African handshakes and laughs, and family and friends serving to to meet the desperate needs of these people and bring light into the darkness. So now that I live in the Midwest with my sweet husband and beyond precious son, with my dishwasher and garbage disposal, vibrant church family and wonderful group of friends, American convenience and consumer driven culture . . . . I have this undeniable soul yearning . . . "is this all there is . . . for me? is this what I"m supposed to be doing?" Yes, I do see my role as a mother as a vitally important ministry. Yes, Bryan ad I are very involved with our church body and active in many types of ministry. And yet, the question, the restlessness, "is this all there is?"

This is such a challenge for me because i feel this restlessness within and I know a part of it is a TCK (third culture kid) thing where we are destined to be restless regardless of location due to the melding of cultures within us. However, I also truly wonder a lot if our family should be doing something different? Something that is tangibly making a print on the conditions of human suffering in our world. Impacting poverty, hunger, orphans, etc. 

In any case, it was so confirming and wonderful for me to hear someone without that background echo my own heart AND to label that as spiritual hunger. So thank you Margaret! I don't have it figured out yet (what to do with that yearning, what exactly it means) so I am sharing this as a "work in progress" or maybe a "thought in progress" with you . . . I welcome any thoughts or discussion.  Also, I bought her book "Organic God" and would invite any of you who connect to this restlessness to read it alongside me.

OK, last speaker, Matt Chandler.

Matt Chandler's talk was also very powerful for me and I took more away from it than I can possibly summarize here, so I will just give you one nugget. In speaking about the next generation one of the big "buzz words" in ministry circles is that we need to be "relevant." Matt addressed this idea, admitting that he struggles with that term b/c he has seen it being used as an excuse/avenue/reason for a bunch of hip Christians to drink and cuss and be "relevant." He proposed that he does not see a great need for us to be relevant, but rather to be obedient. If we obey Christ, we will bring his life and light into the world by being gracious to others. Christ came to give us life to the fullest, and that is what we have to offer people. A full, abundant, life. That will ALWAYS be relevant, no matter the generation/context/culture. I really appreciated this particularly after working with college students for four years and seeing in them a great shift in wanting to accept and love all types of people, address social injustice, and "get the church out of the pew"----yet often that is not paired with a pursuit of holiness. The focus is so much on being "relevant" that concepts like spiritual disciplines and character development are less (if any) of a focus. It was refreshing to hear someone reframe the concept of "getting the church out of the pew" simply as obedience to Christ.

Well, that's all folks. If you made it though all that you have already developed the spiritual gift of perseverance. Any and all of these speakers have books and resources available if you want to look further into what any of them said. Thanks for listening! (ok reading . . .)